I'm not really sure that I like it yet. I probably won't. But I'm fooling around with a few things and this is what I've come up with. So far it works, but I don't like where it's placed. I may move them all to the top middle, as small tiny icons with no text. I don't know yet though.

It's always a pleasure, I'm guessing, for a FedEx delivery person to open the door to someone in nothing but a bathrobe. But that's what they get when they ring the bell at 10.30am at my house. But I had to sign for something that really didn't require a signature in my opinion. I got one of these!

Seriously. I've known this for a long time. But there is NO escape when rude, obnoxious customers demand things that are outrageous or just plain stupid. At least when I'm Coordinating, I can call a manager. But while on register, the only thing I can do is call the Coordinator. But because I am already a Coordinator, I can do it all myself from the register. There are always the few customers who treat you as if they understand it's the worst job in the world and respect you for ringing them out.

It's been a while since my last update. Not much has really gone on. It's the same things just being rehashed in different lights. Things have been really difficult for me lately. I've said stupid things, and really hurt someone I care about. And I've pretty much just shut myself off. I don't know what I'm doing. But if that person is reading this, just know that I'm thinking about you. Constantly.

As I walk alone, I wonder what went wrong with our love, our love that was so strong. And as I still walk on I think of the things we´ve done together, while our hearts were young.

There's been nothing more painful than what I'm going through right now. Surgery was a breeze in comparison. I'm filled with a growing darkness, a void, a blackness where once an eternal flame flourished. Life seems so dark. I can't break the layering of what-if's my mind is creating, slowly burying me with anger and frustration. But directed not at anyone but myself. To die would be preferable to the suffering I'm enduring. I brought it on myself. It's nothing anyone else did. And so I sit in failure, and sorrow, and regret. An apology seems so insufficient. But I'll try.

Today, well depending on the date on this post it might be yesterday, was the anniversary of the fourth month with Youknowho. Four months ago today, I took a risk, something I never do. It's been the most wild ride I've ever taken. And even though the last few weeks have been very rough, I'm going to bed tonight extremely happy. It's really amazing what cheese, ice cream, and alternate realities can do. I hope that she can say the same.

And it's exactly as I expected.